Are you letting FOMO control your career?

During my time at the University of Georgia’s Career Center, I had the opportunity to supervise our undergraduate interns in the office for two years. I learned so much from that experience; from how to effectively supervise a team of unique personalities to creating evaluations that allow for feedback and reflection, but I also learned a lot of acronyms. From LOL to BTW to SMH, I was flooded in a sea of text message lingo. One acronym, however, got my attention: FOMO or “fear of missing out”. I listened with intrigue as one of the interns expressed her inability to commit to activities and/or plans because of FOMO. She didn’t want to be tied down and miss out on the other possibilities that might come along. For my intern, the result often led to a list of options and ideas, but no commitment.

What is FOMO and how does it affect my career?

Let’s face it; we have all been paralyzed by the fear to commit, at some point or another. That fear can stem from a multitude of feelings and thoughts, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m afraid to fail” or even “I’m afraid to succeed”. FOMO, however, seems to be different; and I am seeing a great deal of this fear in my career counseling appointments, especially with recent graduates. This article might help to clarify if FOMO is an issue for you and your career. The Oxford English Dictionary defines FOMO (it was added in 2013) as “Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website”. While social media tends to be the primary catalyst for this fear, I’m not going to get into those implications today. Instead, I hope to pose a few questions that will combat the fear that often comes when we compare ourselves to others.

Facebook makes life look deceivingly glamorous.

I see a great deal of comparison when it comes to the working world. Recent grads might hear of a peer joining a start-up company that allows him freedom and excitement in the job. Perhaps he is seen on social media in creative work spaces or even traveling the country. From Facebook to LinkedIn posts, this job may seem perfect. It’s easy to get swept up in the image that is being created online, while in actuality, you might value stability and security over flexibility and excitement. The result can end up delaying a decision or may end in no decision at all. Typical thoughts from FOMO might be, “well, if he can do it, certainly I can” or “she looks so happy”, not really considering if her values, interests, skills, and personality are a good match for the job. This is where the problem lies. The idea that others’ success in one area means that you should do something similar in order to succeed is not true. Success looks very different from one person to another, and choosing to focus your energy on what others are doing versus what you could be doing is just a complete waste of time.

You have something that I want.

When considering the root of it all, it seems clear to me that there is one main thought that can help us navigate our FOMO and find ways to squash the unhealthy comparisons. The underlying thought is: You have something that I want. So, let’s break down this theme into two separate questions:

• What does that person have that you want?
• What is your current situation lacking?

What does that person have that you want?: This requires some reflection. Often, what we are really reacting to is the emotional response from the online presence. For example:

• Is he happy with his job, and is that satisfaction something you long for?
• Is she in a job that you know you would love?
• Does she have a title or salary that you would love to have?
• Does he often get praised or rewarded for his work?

These questions and your answers will help to provide insight into your own values and interests. Considering your career aspirations, what is missing from your current situation, and what can you do to make that aspiration a reality? Pinpointing the gaps that exist for your career can help you create focus for your next move. See below.

What is your current situation lacking?: You have yet to find your niche in the working world. You lack the focus and direction to move your career to the next level because you are unsure in what you want the next level to look like. You long for the feeling of satisfaction and peace in making a decision about your career.

If this is your current situation, it is time for some self-reflection. Take career assessments. Talk to others about your interests, values, skills, and personality and gain insights into how you can use those in a job. Finding your career niche takes time. It takes saying “yes” to projects and work activities to find out what you enjoy most and what others notice as strengths in your work. Once you find it, however, it will take away any fear of missing out because you’ll be so excited to grow in that area.

FOMO can be such a great insight into your passions and interests. However, it requires time to reflect on these thoughts and feelings to make a real change. It’s time to step away from the computer and the feelings of “missing out” when you see others enjoying their job and life, and it’s time for you to step out of the world of comparison and into a new world that you get to create for yourself. Don’t miss out on life because you’re too busy living someone else’s. Let go of FOMO and take charge of your career!